“You cannot succeed unless, in your mind, you have become the one who already succeeded”.
Why is it that some people are able to lose weight and step into their perfect body, only to regain it back in few months? They sabotage their success, providing a whole barrage of excuses such as: “I was stressed”, “I started overeating”, “I had no time to exercise”, “I had no time to prepare food”, “It got boring”, etc. Sometimes they blame their spouse. “He made me all this rich food”.
I have seen countless of clients who come to me after having succeeded, and failed many times.
They all had a history of fluctuating weight, interspersed with a history of depression and anxiety. They all were capable of losing the weight, but seemingly incapable of maintaining it. Why?
What I found is they clearly understood what was needed to lose weight, and had the discipline to follow an exercise program combined with the proper diet. They were happy with their result and enjoyed the process of getting there. They could not maintain it despite the joy of succeeding.
The common denominator among them was, once they reached their goal, they suddenly felt uncomfortable in their own skin. They felt like an untrue version of themselves, and suddenly scared they would have to maintain the regimen of exercise and diet. They sabotaged the result.
What I found in every case, these clients’ internal dialogue was ” I am a fat woman”. Being “a fat woman” is an identity level statement. An identity statement represents an ultimate truth in the mind of a person. It is a deep and subconscious statement which represents an ultimate truth. “I am: is my truth and if “I am not”, I may cease to exist.
This is why people hold onto their identity level statements with everything they’ve got. If “I am not an alcoholic”, then who am I? The void may be too painful to examine. If “I am not a fat woman” than I may find myself to be an attractive woman who suddenly has to deal with advances from men. ” I have no idea how to date”. If “I am not stupid” I may find myself having to compete in the job market, and fail. If ” I am not sick” I may have to start living without the help I was getting.
Identity level statement is a global belief permeating every aspect of a person’s existence. It not only has reasons underlying its creation, it also has implications in a person’s life. It impacts one’s perceptions of worthiness, capabilities, abilities and potential results.
Let’s take a look at someone who has been severely overweight for years. Outside of medical reasons, the person chose to act in ways that would lead to obesity. The reasons can be numerous: safety (masking fear), compliance with social expectations (my family is fat and I must be fat just like them), feeling unworthy of the life outside of being fat, etc.
Losing weight in the absence of addressing the reasons for getting there and the benefits of being overweight, will be like applying a band aid to a deep wound. The problem will re-appear with vengeance.
Also, if the internal representation of the self doesn’t change, the person will regain the weight in order to reflect an internal “truth” about themselves.
“I am fat” is a global self-evaluation. If suddenly I look in the mirror and see a slim person, I am internally living a lie. I am not the person I am seeing in the mirror. Therefore, I must quickly “adjust” my external image to my inner representation of myself. “I am fat” so I better get to it and get my fat back.
Successful coaching with NLP will address every layer of the person’s symptom; diet, exercise, internal strategies for overeating (such as reaching for food when stressed or feeling lonely), contexts – both external and internal when the behaviors happen, and most importantly, the “I am” statement locked in the deep recesses of the person’s other than conscious mind.
Changing this statement into ” I am perfect the way I am and capable and worthy of stepping into my ultimate body” is the only platform upon which to create a new and better version of oneself. I love doing this work as it has magical implications across the entire fabric of a person’s life. The heaviest person I helped was 230 pounds’ overweight. Today she is competing in figure competitions.
For a more comprehensive picture of what can be achieved with NLP take a look at our training programs.